[Diary, Mood] 2020

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[雜七雜八, Mood] 余舍行旅，讓人不會想再去的詐騙旅館

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[Diary, 雜七雜八, Mood] 怪胎

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[Mood] 想就這樣睡著

然後就一直睡著。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG]

[Mood] 抱歉

生而為人，我很抱歉。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG]

[Mood] 不必要

活了卅多年才學到，人生中有太多事情是不必要的。

---

不必要的交際、不必要的開銷，與不必要的堅持，
得過且過的人生不見得就是失敗的。

在意越多、傾注心力越多，反而讓自己產生錯誤的期待；
而過高的期待往往帶來的是令人心灰意冷的結果。

---

當個普通人，默默無聞地過完一生也不是甚麼壞事；
畢竟這世界上能發光發熱的人也沒多少，
沒必要讓自己扛上這種無謂的包袱。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG]

[Diary, Mood] 關掉所有 SNS

反覆試了幾次，比較後覺得還是關掉吧。

會不會再開其實也沒那麼重要，
畢竟我的人際關係不是活在網路世界上的。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG]

[Diary, Mood] 關於浮木

我是不想抓住任何浮木的。

---

曾經以為在自己的能力範圍內，
盡可能地幫助身邊的人，就會有良善的循環，
卻一次次地讓自己變成傷得最重、動輒得咎的人，
而被幫助的人不是變成廢人，就是露出爛人的馬腳。

泡在水裡的浮木，不可能永遠都不爛，
是時候讓自己脫離這種載浮載沉的狀況了。

---

我要嘛就是變成一塊石頭，要嘛就是消失在空氣中。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG]

[Mood] 我就爛

我就爛。

不要有太多期待。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG]

[Mood] 不是壞掉

試著從還沒壞掉的斷垣殘壁中重建自己生活的步調，
自認恢復得不錯，生活或工作看起來也還能談笑。

可不久我發現自己失去喜歡人和被喜歡的能力了，
甚麼都沒有，腦袋一片空白，感受不到善意也沒辦法妥切表達善意。

---

我不覺得自己可憐，甚至有點覺得那樣的感情是多餘的。

多餘的就應該放掉，不是嗎。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG]

[Diary] 一半

轉眼 2020 就又要過一半了，
時間的飛逝總是令人感到不知所措。

---

人生似乎也算是過到了一半，
剩下的一半該做些甚麼呢。

---

或許不用想那麼遠，顧好接下來幾天的事就好。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG]

[Mood] 斷

真要說 2020 年學會甚麼，
或許就是不再糾結所謂人際關係。

緣份到了就會碰頭，盡了就散吧。

爛人自有天收。

---

Nothing lasts forever.

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG]

[Mood] 諸君，我好愛這首歌

最近好愛這首歌，艾怡良的《Forever Young》。

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFj6azCUYrU

---

無關歲數，人們心中都還是存在著個小孩，
所謂長大不過就是囚禁了他，以為這樣就顯得成熟，
然後，在某天想通了、放飛了的過程。

有些人或許就像我這樣不願長大，
想讓身邊的人事物都停留在最單純的時候，
用盡一切心機只為留住、擴大自己的舒適圈。

回過頭才發現，自己才是那個哭鬧著吵著要糖吃的孩子，
哭到精疲力盡了、費盡了無數時間心力，卻甚麼都沒得到。

---

如果永恆真的存在，我想我還是會傻傻地付出一切去換取。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG]

[Diary, Mood] 吃飽比減肥重要

今年試著落實一周至少訓練兩次的運動頻率，勉強是維持住了體重。

---

但比起減肥，我反而更在意有沒有吃飽。

人生已經充滿各種糾結的事情，就別再為難自己的口腹之慾。

---

擁有好身材當然可以得到稱讚，讓自己充滿自信，
但若要為此拒絕美食，那就真的是太痛苦了。

我不想這樣活著；吃飽永遠都比減肥重要。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG]

[Diary, Mood] 關於令人失望的班尼迪克蛋

前兩天吃到了很糟的班尼迪克蛋。

因為失望到我到現在都無法釋懷，甚至想出了很多後母式的評論，
以下節錄幾則。

• 這盤班尼迪克蛋的沙拉可圈可點。
• 廚師重新定義了班尼迪克蛋。
• 我想，這盤班尼迪克蛋跟我是舊識，真的很熟。
• 麥當勞滿福堡的馬芬真的比較好吃。
• 這是荷蘭醬還是酸掉的千島醬？
• 薯餅出乎意料地濕潤，是不是跟馬芬走錯地方了？

就這樣。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG]

[Diary, Mood] 生命無法承受之輕與重

標題寫得很浮誇，但想談的事情不難，即是：
別用自己的秤來秤別人的輕重。

這些差異所產生的才是真正的，生命中難以承受的重量。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG]

[未分類] 最近

從 2017 開始到 2019 年底，堪稱是我人生中最遭的日子。

2020 一開始到現在也是滿爆炸的，疫情到現在還是令人擔憂，
而生活與工作整體來說也還是充滿著變數。

不想再花力氣去在乎誰，就讓我回到那個中二的自己吧。

文章同步也應該都修好了，沒意外之後就只用這個寫文章。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG, of murmurs]

[Diary, Mood] Quick Update

因為遇到太爛的人，經歷了太爛的事情，
最近把 SNS 帳號都關掉了。

想找我的人還是找得到我，所以我不擔心自己會怎樣。

至於那些爛人爛事，遲早會有天收。

[posted by cornguo @ CornGuo's BLOG, of murmurs]